1. Do illicit drugs. Nothing ages the skin faster than meth cut with laundry detergent.
2. Don’t exercise. Let those toxins settle deep into your tissues so they can metastasize.
3. Smoke. Cigarettes, herbs, whatever. A pack a day keeps the doctor away . . . but not the medical examiner.
4. Eat highly processed foods like white bread and salty snacks. Slather butter, cream, or some other dairy product on the veggie of your choice and think it’s nutritional.
5. Don’t read—labels, books, or articles. Just trust the advertising and put it on your face.
6. Get lots of sun, especially without sunscreen. In fact, stay away from anything with an SPF rating.
7. Exclusively drink diet soda, sports drinks, and sugary beverages with lots of caffeine in them. Water is way overrated and only makes you go to the bathroom.
8. Party like a rock star. You can sleep when you’re dead.
9. Don’t take any nutritional supplements like vitamins or herbs. You get everything you need from cheeseburgers and french fries.
10. Finally, and this is the most important of all, don’t read this blog. You know all this stuff already.
What a great & humorous approach to get a POSITIVE messaage out! Although I do have a sweet tooth & morning coffee (a habit only begun 10 years ago), I’ve managed to avoid drugs & alcohol & have never smoked in my life. I did use a tanning bed for a few months after a divorce (10 yrs ago–see the pattern?!) some years ago, until I learned what it was doing to my skin that I couldn’t see. Anyway, I am almost 54, and all the time now, get comments about my skin when people find out that I’m “49″… saying I look 39—so that says it all. I seem to get asked more about my age since I now have a grandson that I brag about!, so I’ve become very aware of my pretty phenomenal skin which I’m so very grateful for at this point in my life. (oh, and I rarely ever drink soda)
Ok,that is so very true,I have my own cosmetic line,and of course alot of women dont think that way when they are young,however,as you age you certainly do avoid alot of those points that you covered.
Thanks for the tips
Glad you enjoyed it. I think it’s better than being preached to.
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intenion of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, diet coke in the other, cigarette hanging from your lips, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOOHOO WHAT A RIDE”. Have a wonderful day! Anni
So funny and true! At 43, people think I’m 35. You have to avoid the sun, exercise and clean your face every night — some of the best moisturizers are in the drugstore vs. the department stores. Laugh often and stay curious!
Well I as use to agree with Anni that sounds like fun, after a close call I had recently that almost killed me I look at things a little differently. Do things I would never think of doing before (i.e. eat healthier, stop to smell the roses, and not sweat tthe small stuff) life is much better now. More at peace. You can still say What a Ride when its all said and done. Just get there with better choices, living better, go a slower pace and definitely with no regrets.
Live fast, die young, be a good looking corpse.
I am 80 yrs of age and I have to show proof of age and not only 60 as most people think that I am
hey, i do all the things you recommend and people think i’m 20 years younger than i am……….guess i have good genes ;D
Hey, a very fun way of post.So just do not do these 10 things and stay young forever?
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A very smart and funny article! This is very effective way to approach your idea. I think I’m gonna throw away a bottle of diet coke in my refrige.
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This is so true! A great approach on giving advice. You sound like my mother. :D
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thank you for the tips im really behind in the exsersize area and eating healthy ..but i would like to start a healthy diet
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